The Price of Perfect: Why Perfectionism Is Holding You Back
You are successful, driven, and ambitious.
You have achieved big things in your career and personal life…even though you’re likely convinced it was probably a fluke.
Hello, imposter syndrome.
When imposter syndrome is a regular backseat driver in your life, you may turn to a seemingly obvious “antidote”: Perfectionism.
It can be easy to convince yourself that perfection is the only way to continue to achieve more success beyond what you already have. Being perfect in all areas of your life seems like it would be the best way to finally convince yourself, and those around you, that you earned it. You deserve it. You can do it again.
(Alert: Ask around, I bet there are countless people who already believe you’re pretty amazing.)
I used to have myself convinced that perfectionism was a positive trait. Perfectionism was what made you good at what you do and contributed to achieving any worthy goal.
But perfectionism can be detrimental. Detrimental to your productivity, ability to actually complete projects, or have control of your time. And even more harmful, is the impact on your overall well-being.
Let’s dive into the sneaky ways perfectionism is holding you back and what you can do to overcome this piece of your identity you may not be convinced you can shed…just yet.
Setting Unrealistic Standards For Yourself
Perfectionism puts you in the habit of setting unrealistic standards.
This can have a huge impact on your productivity. Here’s why:
The relentless pursuit of flawlessness causes you to set unattainable goals that leave you overwhelmed and dissatisfied, regardless of any progress made.
This demotivates and slows you down. Where’s the motivation to take any action on a project or a goal when you already know you’re just going to fail to meet your own standards? You get shoved into procrastination mode or buffering as you avoid the task at hand. Productivity = Zero.
What can you do?
Set attainable goals to allow yourself to see progress. I am all about dreaming big. But break those big dreams down into small, achievable steps. By setting realistic expectations and focusing on incremental growth, you can avoid the paralysis and demotivation that comes with perfectionism.
Over-Analysis and Decision Paralysis
Perfectionism can cause you to over-analyze every decision, constantly seeking the perfect outcome.
While thorough analysis can be beneficial, this excessive scrutiny leads to decision paralysis. You waste precious time and energy as you delay and ruminate and never make meaningful progress.
You’ve heard me preach this before, there is no perfect decision. Just make a choice then act. The “perfect” decision is the one that’s been made. The one you’re no longer fussing and stewing about because you’re too busy taking action on what you already decided on.
What can you do?
Try limiting the amount of time you give yourself for your decision-making process. For example, don’t give yourself a full week to decide on the agenda for your next company retreat. Give yourself an hour. Then start planning. Recognize that not all decisions require an exhaustive evaluation and don’t deserve as much time in your schedule as you might think.
Overworking
Perfectionism is a clear culprit of an overworked culture.
“Just 5 more minutes” to get something “just right” turns into late nights and weekends trying to meet expectations for yourself that you will never achieve.
My family and I had a running joke of “work minutes”. If I said I needed just “5 more minutes” I had to clarify if they were “work minutes” or “regular minutes”. “Work minutes” were perfectionist minutes. They grew exponentially. “5 more work minutes” meant at least 15, 30…in fact, put dinner in the fridge, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.
When consumed by perfectionism, we tend to spend an excessive amount of time on the minor details and lose sight of the bigger picture. Endlessly fine-tuning and perfecting every aspect of a task can not only deplete your energy but can leave a mountain of tasks unfinished and looming over you.
What can you do?
Embrace the concept of “good enough”. Ask yourself whether a minor detail truly impacts the overall objective. Or if just getting it out there is “good enough”. Send it! So you can focus on higher priorities or cultivating a life you enjoy.
Avoiding Shame
Perfectionism can be a shield to protect us from shame.
Your perfectionism is likely rooted in a deep fear of failing or disappointing others.
As human beings, it’s ingrained in us to seek approval and acceptance to confirm we are worthy and belong. This need can be skewed by the belief that if you just did everything perfectly, you would be accepted and never have to feel shame.
Which, ironically, probably wouldn’t be true anyway. Think of your favorite people and mentors. They have likely tried and failed and screwed up and lived to tell about it. And are far more interesting and likable because of it.
But still, shame is a tricky emotion. It’s similar to guilt but with a nuanced, deeper-cutting difference. With guilt, you feel as though something you did was wrong. With shame, you feel that you are wrong.
You make leaving a typo on an important client presentation mean you are terrible at your job and aren’t capable of creating great work. That’s shame.
This fear of shame can be paralyzing, leading to procrastination and increased stress levels and a definite lack of productivity.
What can you do?
Reframe your relationship with failure. Rather than viewing it as a personal flaw and something to feel shame about, see failures as a stepping stone towards learning and growth. Embrace the notion that failures are inevitable in any successful journey.
Reducing Tolerance for Others to Fail
Perfectionism can also be an attempt to prove a point.
If you are “perfect”, you may believe you’ve set an example that others will need to live up to. You’ve set unrealistic standards for yourself so you can expect the same from others.
When you fall into this cycle, it may be difficult to delegate or trust others with your exceedingly high standards. So you micromanage and feel overwhelmed and exhausted as you try to compensate for their perceived inadequacies.
This sets you up for guaranteed disappointment. Everyone is going to “fail” at some point. And you put added pressure by putting yourself even higher on the pedestal of perfection. If you have a moment of imperfection, it’s like you’re giving those around you permission to do the same. Which clearly means your world as you know it will crash and burn into chaotic oblivion. Yeah…let’s get a fact-check on that one.
What can you do?
Identify the strengths and weaknesses of yourself and others. Allow for vulnerability so everyone can jump in where someone is weak and let them shine where they’re strong. Allow others to contribute to a task's success, even if it’s not as “perfect” as you might have previously demanded.
As a successful woman, managing your perfectionistic tendencies is crucial.
Letting those behaviors run unchecked will leave you feeling less productive than you want to be and far less in control of your time and your life. By applying the above techniques, you can continue to deliver exceptional value while fostering a healthier life balance.
Let go of the pursuit of perfect. Not only is there no such thing…but it’s detracting from the amazing you that already exists.
If you need help shaking yourself out of a perfectionistic overwhelm spiral, check out this free checklist to stop feeling overwhelmed in 5-minutes or less. Anytime. Anywhere. For any situation.
Now get out there. Try even if you might suck at it. Speak up. Embrace those imperfections!
