4 Strategies to Rewrite Your Future
“History repeats itself.”
“The greatest predictor of the future is the past.”
These are both popular themes when trying to make heads or tails of life.
But, they’re wrong.
Stop looking to the past to define yourself.
If you look only to the past to decide what you are capable of, you will never move forward. You will never accomplish new goals. You will never break old habits that keep you stuck.
“Don't look back – you're not going that way.”
-Mary Engelbreit
To truly be in control of shaping your future, you have to look forward to new possibilities and beliefs. When you lean into a bit of the unknown, you can create a little magic.
Here are 4 easy strategies to avoid history’s replay button.
Strategy #1: Identify What Needs to Change
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Bad habits make this insanity your reality.
Do you blame your lack of sleep on the late-night Netflix binge? Yet you still turn the TV on as you crawl into bed…
Do you blame skipping your morning workout on the snooze button being oh-so-easy to push? Yet you still keep your phone well within reach…
Do you blame your evening overtime on the unending stream of late-night emails? Yet you continue to respond regardless of the time…
A little bit of insanity causes history to repeat itself.
Bad habits prove you right when you think you can’t do something. They create the narrative of what is and isn’t possible for you until you don’t even realize you have a choice in the matter.
“8 hours of sleep is unrealistic for me.”
“There’s no time to work out.”
“I can’t get my job done without working overtime.”
“Repeated setbacks can train us to assume the worst. They can condition us to hoard what we have and avoid risk.”
-Michael Hyatt, Your Best Year Ever
Take Control of Your Future
To help break this cycle and redefine you’re future, think through what you long to have more time for. Sleep? Your Health? Time with family and friends? Make a list.
Then, brainstorm the habits that might be preventing you from creating this time.
If you need a little inspiration, try the time management mistakes quiz to give you some ideas of where you might be getting tripped up.
Once you have an idea of the bad habits that are keeping you stuck, you have a problem to try to solve for. Excellent! You can start to interrupt the old patterns to start to carve out a new possibility for the future.
For instance, try taking a book to bed instead of turning on the TV. Or put your alarm across the room, forcing you get up if you want to hit that snooze. Or schedule any IMs or emails you need to send for the next morning to reduce the ongoing responses coming in throughout your evening.
Don’t be afraid to start small. Small shifts can lead to a dramatically different future.
Strategy #2: Rethink How to Prove to Yourself You Are Capable
When trying something new, whether learning a new skill or changing how you approach your time management, it’s normal to search for evidence that you’ll be successful with the new endeavor.
Your brain wants this cold hard proof you can do it before you have the confidence you need to take action.
So, you look to your past.
Have you been able to learn something similar before?
Have you had success planning your day and following a schedule?
Have you accomplished a big goal you laid out for yourself?
When this history review comes up short, the “proof” you’re looking for quickly becomes evidence it’s not possible. When you let this become “evidence” that you can’t do something, you shy away from the new potential.
“If our careful analysis shows we will fail, we don’t take that option. Our perfect girl wiring urges us to look for guaranteed success or forget it.”
-Reshma Suajani, Brave Not Perfect
Take Control of Your Future
This comparison to your past is illogical.
You evolve over time. You learn, you grow, you adapt. The old you is not a good representation of who you are today.
Just because you’ve failed at something before doesn’t guarantee failure again. What lessons did you learn from the past failure? What circumstances are different in your life now?
This is a new chapter. A blank page. You can write what you want.
Take a small action on your new adventure. Action spawns confidence. Action builds the evidence that you are capable which leads to confidence you can do it.
Stop looking to the past. Look to today and what you can create today.
Strategy #3: Reset Your Expectations
Often, the evidence you look to in the past is not actually proof you can’t do it. Instead, it’s “proof” you should be able to do better.
Does your past give you plenty of examples of you being able to accomplish your full to-do list every day? But now you end the day burnt out with stragglers of undone tasks hanging over your head…
Does your past give you examples of working out daily, attending a weekly painting class, and having a spotless house at all times? But now your schedule feels constrained with little time for “extras”…
Or does your past give you plenty of examples of working 40-hour weeks? But lately, those hours have been creeping higher and higher…
When you have successes you can pull from in the past, you set the bar high. Unrealistically high guaranteeing failure and disappointment in the present.
You stay stuck in a definition of who you are and who you should be with little interpretation or room for change.
"The wise person adjusts to the truth. A fool adjusts the truth so he has to do nothing different."
-Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings
Take Control of Your Future
Take a look at your reality of today. What’s changed from the previous you who seemed to have sailed through life with ease?
Are you struggling with a new health issue?
Are you in the middle of a move?
Is there a big stressful project at work you’re committed to getting done?
Your priorities have likely changed.
Re-evaluate your new circumstances and set a new bar. Don’t compare yourself to the past so you can define yourself as a failure today. Re-decide what success looks like for current you, in this season of life.
Strategy #4: Reset Society’s Expectations
Society is in a constant state of change from technology advancements to evolving societal norms. What was once considered acceptable or even desirable may no longer hold true in today's context. Clinging to the expectations from the past will constrain your possibilities for the future.
Take a look at the division of labor in your household. Does the workload balance leave the space you need to focus on your career or other interests?
Take a look at the division of labor in the workplace. Are you taking on more admin tasks by default that could be delegated elsewhere?
Take a look at the overall balance of life. Are you still holding yourself to a standard of “having it all” that’s leaving you overwhelmed and exhausted?
Times are changing. Defining what you should be doing based on old cultural norms can feel like you’re in control and steering the ship. But in reality, it leaves you powerless.
“Keeping a tight grip on structures and systems is a coping mechanism. We may have too many things on our plates, but at least we know where everything belongs.”
-Tiffany Dufu, Drop the Ball
Take Control of Your Future
Evaluate where you are feeling a little extra stretched in your day. Write it down.
Then decide why you are putting your energy in those areas of life. Is it because it’s something you truly want to achieve and fills your soul? Or is there an external should that you’ve let unintentionally take the wheel?
Time to move some things to the to-don’t list.
Delegate “must-do” tasks to your spouse or a coworker who has more time to get it done. Stop doing tasks that aren’t directly aligned with your bigger goals. And pause before immediately raising your hand by default to take on a project until you’ve run it through your sniff test of importance.
History is changing. What changes do you want to make?
When you obsess over your past, you’ll miss what opportunities are available for you in your future.
Believing history is set to repeat itself restricts you from breaking free of automatic patterns of behavior and thought. Keeping you stuck in the past.
Move beyond the limitations of history. Embrace the future.
Out with the old. In with the new.
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About Me
Hi, I’m Kara. I’m a former workaholic turned time-management expert. I help women stressed out in their 9-5 get more done, in less time, so they can get back in the driver’s seat and start living a life they love.
