Words Matter: 4 Thoughts to Replace in Your Self-Talk
Every day your brain processes thousands upon thousands of thoughts. Some thoughts are conscious, some unconscious. Some lift you up and excite you, while others knock you down and make you unsure of your next move.
Many of these thoughts are a series of beliefs you have engrained in your brain. Brains love patterns — the path of least resistance. So you latch onto the same thought patterns over and over again because that is the easiest path to take. These recurring thoughts turn into beliefs and ultimately shape how you interpret the world.
Let’s try an experiment. Close your eyes. Get really connected to your body and notice how you feel when you think “I’m so excited!” Heart racing? Flushed skin? Butterflies? I’m guessing you interpret these sensations as positive and you may even feel empowered to get to it. Whatever “it” might be.
Now, close your eyes and notice how you feel when you think “I’m so nervous.” Pit in the stomach? Heavy shoulders? Shortness of breath? I’m guessing you interpret these sensations as negative and you probably want to hide from whatever the “it” is.
Think about this example in real life. Let’s say you walk into an interview for your dream job. One version of your thinks: “I’m so excited about this opportunity.” That version of you will likely show up confident and empowered. Someone ready to get the job. The other version of your thinks: “I’m so nervous I’ll screw up.” That version will likely show up timid and unsure. They may even excuse themselves for a “bathroom break” to sprint it to the nearest exit. Which version would you choose?
Words matter. Even when those words are just thoughts inside your head. The words you use when talking to yourself impact how you feel and directly affect how hard you make it on yourself to achieve your goals.
The good news is, you have the power to change these thoughts and build new thought patterns to play on repeat. Read on for 4 thoughts you can replace in your self-talk starting…NOW!
1. “I’m so busy.”
Obviously, I’m going to start you out with a time management killer. The “busy” buzzword. It seems so innocent and passive. “Busy” feels like a fact. It just is. And you are at the mercy of all the “busy” around you which is why you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and not in control of your life.
Try instead: “I’m filling my time with activities I choose.” You get to choose what you spend your time on every day. In fact, you DO choose what you spend your time on every day. Making this small shift can help you take a critical eye on how you are spending your time and consciously decide if you like your choices.
2. “I don’t have time for that.”
Another time management killer. If you broke your arm in the middle of the day, would you say “I don’t have time for this” and carry on? Of course not. You would make time and head straight to the emergency room, canceling or rescheduling whatever was originally in your plans.
Try instead: “I’m choosing not to make time for that.” Feel how much more empowering that is. This new thought is an excellent partner to the above example. Not only are you choosing what to do, but you also get to choose what NOT to do.
3. “I should be doing [X].”
[Insert whatever self-imposed rule book you’re enforcing today.] Be careful of “shoulding” on yourself. Who is even defining all of these “shoulds” we put on ourselves? Should you really work out after only 5 hours of sleep due to the loud neighbor down the street? Should you really spend yet another hour perfecting that presentation you’ve been working on for 5 days straight? Says who?
Try instead: “I’m choosing not to do [X] and I’m happy with my reasons.” There are plenty of things you can spend your energy on. But one of the perks of being an adult (yes, there are some benefits of “adulting”), you can decide what you want to or don’t want to do based on the consequences you are or aren’t willing to accept. As simple as that. If you’re not happy with your reasons or the consequences of your actions, spend some time diving in and understanding why. But if you’re truly happy with your reasons, move on. Ditch the should.
4. “I’m a failure.”
Since we were children in grade school, we have been taught failing is a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. Don’t get an F on that paper. Don’t raise your hand unless you really know the answer. This negative interpretation can leave you afraid to try new things and put yourself out there to go after your dreams. It can also lead you to confuse failing at something (an action) as being a failure (your identity).
Try instead: “I failed and I learned something.” Every failure is a chance to learn something new. A failure can help you to identify one path you don’t want to take in order to drive you closer to the path you do want to take. Being open to failure can be an invaluable learning tool to get better and better and closer to achieving your goals.
4 simple thought changes. Massive results. What could you accomplish if these were your new beliefs and thought patterns?
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