10 Simple Ways to Spend More Quality Time With Your Partner
Love might be in the air…but you’ll probably have to pencil time in for it next month. Your calendar’s already full.
The demands of work, your personal ambitions, and other social obligations all fight for center stage.
This hustle and determination can leave your energy limited causing your relationship to become a distant afterthought with little time left over for connection.
But deep connections from a supportive relationship can improve your stress management, reduce your mental load, and, let’s face it, make life a lot more fun.
So let’s start giving these relationships the priority and attention they deserve.
Making time for your partner can be easy and oh-so rewarding.
Here are 10 simple ways to spend more quality time together.
#1 Share calendars
The first step to making time for your partner is to know when time is available.
Time is tight. And you may struggle to keep track of your own schedule, much less trying to keep tabs on what your spouse is up to. So share your digital calendars with one another.
This way, you’ll always know what your spouse has in their plans, reducing the friction and coordination trying to find time to spend together.
#2 Schedule a recurring date
While impromptu adventures are always fun, they may not be the most reliable way to consistently have quality time together.
Instead, schedule a recurring time you plan to spend as a couple. This could be monthly, weekly, or even committing to sit down to dinner together every night. Choose what you can commit to and plan for it.
Knowing a specific time is off-limits for other engagements makes it easier to avoid conflicts and keep your priorities aligned.
#3 Alternate date “planning duty”
Sometimes deciding on a new adventure for your recurring dates can feel daunting. It can become one more thing to add to the to-do list putting you in the danger zone of skipping it altogether.
While you could stick with the same date night plan each time for a maximum easy button, that might get a little stale. Instead, alternate planning responsibility with your spouse.
This may require you to be open to some new adventures (my fellow control freaks out there, deep breaths, it will be fun.) But this is the whole point of having a partner in crime! Alternating planning duty means they can pick something closer to their interests to expand your horizons. Then you can do the same. Making the most out of the time you’re spending together.
#4 Create more opportunities for connection
There is nothing better than those natural deep conversations you fall into over a few cocktails or an afternoon drive. Those moments remind you why you choose to be with your partner and help to reignite that passion.
But we can’t rely on those moments happening if you’re constantly jumping from distraction to distraction. You can increase the chances of these moments by creating more opportunities for connection.
Schedule a regular night out at that new restaurant or regular afternoon drives. Then take this time seriously and be present, allowing yourself to be open to connecting on a deeper level.
While those deep conversations may not happen every time, it will happen more often as you increase the time you spend together.
#5 Put your phone down
We’re all guilty of it.
Face in phone in the middle of a conversation, mindlessly nodding along but realizing you’ve missed the last 5 minutes as you internally chuckle at the latest Instagram Reel.
Quality time is not just about quantity; it's also about being present in the moment.
Put the phone down. Stop the scroll. Eliminate the distraction. When you’re intentionally making time for your partner, the rest of the world should be secondary.
Don’t miss the moments that are right in front of you for the edited view of someone else’s world on the other side of that screen.
#6 Don’t forget to ask questions
If you want to make the most of this quality time and know what’s truly going on in your spouse’s world, ask.
Not just the generic “How was your day, Dear” greetings. Dig deeper.
What made you frustrated today?
What made you laugh?
What brought you joy?
What made you question everything?
What do you hope to have accomplished in 5 years?
These simple questions can help create an environment where your spouse feels valued and understood and willing to open up.
#7 Be willing to share
Good connection is a two-way street.
Sometimes the asking part is easy. But be ready to turn the tables and be in the interviewee's chair.
Hello, vulnerability.
Ask and find genuine interest in your spouse. But also be willing to get vulnerable and share what you’re feeling as well.
#8 Share your hopes and goals
My favorite relationship quote comes from Esther Perel:
"Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person."
We all evolve and change. The person you met many years ago is not the same person you’re with today. And neither are you!
When you are in the loop on the hopes and the goals of your partner, you won’t be surprised by their evolution through life. In fact, you’ll likely find new interests you can enjoy together and new ways you can support them and they can support you along your journeys.
#9 Schedule check-ins
A great way to stay in the loop on your spouse’s latest hopes and dreams is to schedule a regular check-on to discuss them.
Consider small check-ins during dinner or your monthly date night. Or go bigger with a yearly New Year’s planning session to review all your accomplishments and letdowns of the previous year and where you hope to go in the coming year.
This check-in ritual creates a sense of predictability and strengthens the emotional connection between you and your partner.
#10 Take time for yourself
This may seem like an odd finale for an article about quality time with your spouse… but, I’m an introvert. In order to show up as my best self, I need time to recharge my energy alone.
Know what you need to manage your own energy so you can show up fully engaged.
Spending every spare moment with your spouse is not necessarily a path to a more loving and fulfilling relationship. Along with creating space and time for your spouse, create time for yourself as well. Time to reflect on you. Get to know yourself on a deeper level so you can cultivate the insight to introduce your spouse to the real you.
Conclusion
Making time for your partner requires intentional effort and commitment.
But you don’t have to carve out weekend-long couples retreats or break out the super glue to stay connected at the hips. Small moments and small habits count.
It’s not the number of days in our life, but the life in our days that matters. Fill yours with love, laughter, and the shared experiences of the person you’ve chosen to navigate this crazy game of life with.
If you’re struggling to find time for your relationship because you’re so bogged down in the overwhelm of a heavy workload, I can help! Check out Never Work Overtime Again. This course is designed to help you get more done at work, in less time, so you can finally make time for the things that matter. Your spouse with thank you.
If you liked this post, don’t forget to share so that others can find it, too.
About Me
Hi, I’m Kara. I’m a former workaholic turned time-management expert. I help women stressed out in their 9-5 get more done, in less time, so they can get back in the driver’s seat and start living a life they love.
