How To Spend More Time on What You Want
Picture this: The time fairy grants you an extra 10 hours each week.
10 full hours.
You’ve fantasized about this moment for years whenever you’ve:
Begun the week with a giant to-do list with no end in sight,
Laid your head on your pillow at night criticizing yourself for not doing more,
Or wished for a “someday” where you could take that painting class or weekly yoga class…if only you had more time.
The moment is here. What do you want to do with those hours?
What Do You Want?
We all want more time.
That’s usually the main driver behind any time management journey. It’s the reason you’re searching for the secret to finding more time and intentionally working to leverage every second of it.
Usually, when you’re longing for this time, it’s because you think you need to fill it up with all the things you “have to” get done:
Clear out all those unread emails cluttering up your inbox,
Jump to any request from a coworker without a moment’s hesitation,
Or, make even The Home Edit ladies swoon at that superbly organized junk drawer.
Life is full of the have-to’s. Have-to’s that make you feel like you’re winning at life and doing all the right things to get ahead.
But what about the want-to’s?
The want-to’s that make you excited. Make you feel proud. Make you look forward to jumping out of bed in the morning to live a fulfilling life by your own design.
This should be the true motivation behind your time management journey and finding more hours in your day. After all, what are you trying to make more time for if it’s not for the things that will create a better life?
When you don’t have a clear idea of your want-to’s, any extra hours you may create will get easily wasted by small insignificant chores or even wasted completely with scrolling or mindless “busy”. So much so that it may not feel like you had any extra time in the first place.
When you fill your extra time with more of the same, your efforts to be better at time management are likely doomed. Why would you strive to be more efficient when your only reward is to pack in even more?
You need a plan for what you want to do.
When you’re clear with what you want to be spending your time on, you’ll make better use of the time you create from an efficient and productive life. And you’ll start building an ideal schedule that begins to look a lot like the dream life you’ve been fantasizing about.
But if you’ve never spent much time thinking beyond just the have-to’s, maybe you have no idea what you would even want to do with your time…
It’s time to figure out what you want.
List of 100 Dreams
I learned about the list of 100 Dreams method from Laura Vanderkam in her book 168 Hours.
The idea is to make a list of anything you would like to do someday. Big or small. The list should be completely unedited as you let your brain wander to whatever piques your interest.
The first portion of the list goes relatively quickly as you rattle off all the activities you regularly fantasize about spending time on. Whether it’s a trip you’ve been promising to take, more girl’s nights, or a unique hobby you’ve been intrigued by for years. Jot those down.
Then…things start to get interesting. As the obvious ideas slow, you have to start thinking about all the things that currently do or that could bring you joy to your life. You get creative on all the possibilities that might be worthy of your precious time. By the time you get to your list of 100, you’ll have a pretty good selection of ideas.
In addition to listing the things you might like to spend time on, take note of how you would get to feel doing those things. Proud? Accomplished? Excited? Brave? Tapping into the feelings you want more of in your life will also help you focus on what types of activities are worth your time.
This exercise will likely take you a few days to complete. So you’ll spend days dreaming and paying closer attention to what you like in your day-to-day vs. what you might want to change. This helps you get in tune with what an ideal life and schedule might look like and can prove to be a pretty eye-opening few days.
To get those brain juices flowing, here are a few that made it on my list of 100 Dreams:
Visit Australia (Feeling = Adventurous)
Join a book club (Feeling = Connected)
Only fly first class (Feeling = Successful)
Daily walkies with the dog (Feeling = Calm)
Learn to sew like a Project Runway contestant (Feeling = Creative)
What’s on your list?
Best Moments
The next exercise doesn’t focus on the “someday”. Instead, it focuses on the past.
The concept of the Best Moments list comes from Jon Acuff in his book All it Takes Is a Goal.
The idea of a Best Moments list is to make a list of 100 past moments in your life that you have loved. This list will be full of proven examples of what you might want more of since you’ve already enjoyed the experience previously.
Once again, the first portion of the list will come easily. But to get to your 100, you’ll have to dig deep. This is where you’ll find the small, seemingly insignificant moments that made a big difference. This list isn’t just for big moments like your wedding day. It can also include the slow morning spent sipping a delicious latte at that super cute coffee joint on your last vacation (shoutout to The Fainting Goat in Franklin, TN!).
The great side benefit of this exercise is it instantly triggers gratitude. When you are looking to your past self for all the things she’s already made happen, you’ll be grateful for everything you’ve done to get you where you are today. You’ll start to reframe the stories you tell yourself about your past into a positive light. And, you won’t be able to help but notice your present moments that are bringing you joy and might deserve a spot on you Best Moments list.
When thinking about what you want, it can be easy to fall into looking for the new, next thing. But the past is full of evidence of all the things you know will create the life of your dreams. This roadmap from the past can help you create a life where you jump from one best moment to the next.
To get you started on your Best Moments lists, here are a few prompts from All it Takes Is a Goal:
Time speeds up/slows down when…
The best job I ever had/my favorite part of my last job was…
Every time I see {blank}, I smile
If I had a free hour today, I would do…
My 3 biggest accomplishments were…
What are your best moments?
Do More of What You Want
Now that you have your lists, it’s time to start doing more of what you want.
Choose one activity from each list. Start small with something that’s totally doable. Then schedule time for it in the coming week or two.
For instance, if you have a dream of learning to paint like the next Vincent van Gogh, sign up for a Paint Nite class next week. Get those creative juices flowing.
Or, if one of your favorite moments was the night you stayed up until 3 AM laughing with your spouse, coordinate an evening at home full of drinks, snacks, and a few icebreakers to keep the conversation flowing. Schedule it for this weekend.
Continue refering back to your lists and making space in your calendar.
When your life starts to be filled with more of your dreams and repeating your best moments, you’ll start to see some immediate benefits.
As you make time for the things you used to only lament never having time for, you can discover if they are even worth your fantasies. Maybe you find the painting class is a complete bust, and you’d rather spend your time reading the latest young adult vampire novel than trying to learn the perfect brush stroke. Great. Now you know. You can focus your time elsewhere and stop wasting another moment wishing for a “someday” to take on that hobby.
You’ll also have worthy motivation for why you want to get better at your time management. If you want to wake up earlier, why? Is it just so you can cram in more work? Or is it so you can end work early to get to your new book club. You’ll always know exactly what you want to spend your time on so you spend less time letting the “have-to’s” take up all your time.
Finally, knocking off some quick wins by spending your time how you wish flexes your passion muscle and gets you used to doing what you really want to do. You’ll start getting really good at finding more time as you build your life with intention.
So What?
The List of 100 Dreams and Best Moments exercises have no end state. Push yourself to get to 100. Then keep going. Keep the inspiration top of mind and revise as you learn, find new passions, or outgrow old ones.
Knowing exactly what you want to spend time on can help you become more clear on what an ideal week might look like for you. And will give you the roadmap on how to get there.
You’ll be ready with exactly what to do the next time the Time Fairy pays you a visit…
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About Me
Hi, I’m Kara. I’m a former workaholic turned time-management expert. I help women stressed out in their 9-5 get more done, in less time, so they can get back in the driver’s seat and start living a life they love.
