How to Spend Less Time Worrying About Life’s Problems
When you run into a problem, you feel stuck.
It’s like you’ve just hit a roadblock that completely derails your perfectly planned path.
Facing a problem can feel like failing.
But, what if those bumps in the road aren’t just frustrating annoyances in the best of times or attacks on your self-worth in the worst of times?
Problems give us meaning.
Problems give our brains something to work on.
They help us understand the right questions to ask. You don’t know what you don’t know…until you run into a problem. Then you know exactly what to solve for.
Problem-Solve with Hopelessness
If you view a problem as a crushing failure, the next stop on the beat-yourself-up train is probably hopelessness.
But this can actually be a helpful detour.
Hopelessness can serve as motivation to change.
You don’t want to sit in that hopeless feeling for long. So when it hits, it can kick you into gear to change. You find a way to solve your hopelessness problem by changing what led you there in the first place.
If you’re stuck in a dead-end job or working with a team that drains you more than pushes you to learn and grow, it might seem like there’s no way out. It might feel…hopeless.
That discomfort? It's the whisper of change. It’s the motivation you need to find your next career path or figure out what actions you can take now to make your current role more fulfilling. It's like the universe giving you a gentle nudge, saying, "Hey, there's something better out there for you."
Problems and hopelessness often act as catalysts for transformation. They push us out of our comfort zones and drive us to make the changes we need for a happier, more fulfilling life.
Problem-Solve with “And” vs. “Or” Thinking
When problems arise, it often seems like the only resolution is to choose between two options.
For example, if you’re overwhelmed with a big project at work, you may think you have to choose between working late every night or spending quality time with your spouse.
But this is called a false choice loophole. You think you can only choose one. But you’re wrong.
Enter “and” thinking.
Life isn't always about sacrifices. Sometimes you can have both. You just have to decide both are an option then you can problem solve on how to get there.
For instance, maybe you can work late to support a big project AND still have quality time with your spouse.
How?
Plan to work later on a Tuesday then take a half day on Friday for a lunch date and an evening at the movies. Then create your schedule around this option of both!
By adopting an "and" mindset, you open up possibilities and find solutions for the option of both.
Problem-Solve by Clearing the Clutter
Problems often signal that it's time for an ending.
The resolution to the problem is to let go of things that no longer serve you. Problems help you identify this clutter in your life.
Do you have a toxic relationship or job that's draining your energy? Or bad habits that are preventing you from achieving your goals? It’s time to let go. It’s time for some endings.
A great tip from Henry Cloud’s book Necessary Endings – when deciding if you need to bring something in your life to an end, look forward and ask yourself: “Will I be happy if I’m still doing this a year from now?” If the answer is no, embrace the painful reality of what the future will be instead of avoiding the pain of making a change now.
Endings are a normal part of life. Deciding you are going to stop doing something or removing it from your life is a courageous step towards creating space for new, positive experiences.
Problem-Solve by Getting Stronger
The more problems you face, the more resilient, adaptable, and patient you’ll become.
This is my favorite analogy for this phenomenon: It’s like lifting weights at the gym. Over time, it gets easier. The weights don’t get lighter. You get stronger.
Facing challenges in life is the same. When you embrace them and use them to give you meaning, problems become easier to face. Not because the problems aren’t challenging or difficult. You become stronger and more capable of solving and facing them.
As you get stronger, you no longer accept anything as impossible. Instead, you learn to step back, take a pause, and evaluate from a different angle.
If everything in life were smooth sailing, we wouldn't have the chance to become our best selves. Our most beautiful transformations often happen after facing and overcoming life's challenges. Problems, in a strange and wonderful way, are the sculptors of our strength and wisdom.
Become a Problem-Solver
Problems are not roadblocks or failures or the end of your journey.
Problems unblock creative solutions. They direct us down the path to our goals. They make room for more good and give us permission to end the bad.
Problems make life interesting. They are an invitation to play the game of life. Solve the puzzle, and write the next chapter.
If you’re ready to tackle your next problem, download the Problem-Solve Like a She Boss Worksheet to take on any problem with clarity and confidence.
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About Me
Hi, I’m Kara. I’m a former workaholic turned time-management expert. I help women stressed out in their 9-5 get more done, in less time, so they can get back in the driver’s seat and start living a life they love.
