Better Questions, Better Outcomes: How Can I be the Queen of Time Management?
“Successful people ask better questions and as a result, they get better answers.” Tony Robbins
When you ask your brain a question, it wants to answer it.
A question creates an open loop. Our brains hate open loops. So it will get to work closing it. This phenomenon can be a great way for you to cleverly use that “computer” conveniently built right inside your skull.
This is why it’s so important to be mindful of how you’re talking to yourself. If you ask crappy questions, you’ll get crappy answers. Garbage in. Garbage out.
The crappy questions can lead to negative self-talk. That negative self-talk can multiply as you double down trying to provide negative answers to prove yourself true. This is known as confirmation bias. Which is our tendency to cherry-pick information that confirms an existing belief.
But, with just some slight shifts in how you ask yourself questions, you can start to provide significantly better answers.
These better answers can clarify your priorities and what you’re spending your time on. They can improve your focus and eliminate distractions. They can improve your decision-making. And these answers can reduce your anxiety and overwhelm.
Those are answers I know I’m interested in finding!
So where can you start?
Crappy Question Example #1:
I don’t have enough time, what will I do if I can’t get this done in time for tomorrow’s presentation?
There are subtleties to this question.
Notice how it’s already framed with the premise that you don’t have enough time. There’s no way you will get everything done. You’ll start thinking about how to plan for the worse. It’s inevitable. Maybe you should just call in sick tomorrow…
Confirmation bias will kick in and your brain will work to prove that the worst is, indeed, coming. This could send you into catastrophizing and distract you from actually getting anything done. Further proving the deadline is impossible.
Replace the crappy question with:
What can I do to feel prepared for tomorrow’s presentation?
This question can trigger a different treasure hunt.
You aren’t wasting time debating or stressing about what you will or won’t get done.
Instead, you are assuming you can feel prepared for the presentation. So let’s put that confirmation bias to good use and find that path to prepared.
Do you need to reschedule or cancel lower-priority meetings or engagements today to allow uninterrupted focus time to practice your talking points? Or maybe you need to strip out the amount of content you originally planned to cover, getting down to just the core important pieces you know you can nail. Or maybe prepared is just a long walk to calm the nerves.
Better question. Better answers.
Crappy Question Example #2:
What if they get mad that I won’t work past 5?
Many of us look to external sources for validation that what we are doing is right or wrong.
With this type of question, you are assuming you’re doing something wrong. Someone is going to get mad.
The question will likely trigger some shame or guilt causing you to apologize ahead of time or hide away, or worse, break your own boundaries to try to please someone else.
Replace the crappy question with:
What value can I provide to ensure I won’t be needed past 5?
This question first honors and defends the boundary you set. You’re having your own back and not questioning your judgment of how you want your schedule to run.
Now you can focus your brain on value.
Maybe you provide notes and documentation before you head out for the day so you’re not the only keeper of any mission-critical knowledge. Or you can offer availability that’s within the schedule you’ve set for yourself.
You stay in the driver’s seat and maintain control.
Crappy Question Example #3
This project is so big, where do I even start?
This question usually comes with a heavy dose of overwhelm weighing on your chest.
Your brain will be focused on just how big the project is and how many pieces you’ll need to figure out. A clearly impossible feat.
You don’t know enough. There’s not enough time. You won’t be able to figure it out. The negative self-talk spiral begins.
Replace the crappy question with:
What is one small task I could get done in the next 5 minutes?
You only need to fill 5 minutes. Suddenly, that doesn’t seem so impossible.
Finding that 5-minute task will put your brain to work at breaking the project down by finding a small bite-sized action that may seem insignificant, but is actually inching you towards the finish line.
You could spend 5 minutes doing a little research or putting together a few bullet points as you brainstorm. One small task that will be impossible to argue with doing. A task that’s so clear on what needs to get done it will be impossible not to finish it.
Then, ask yourself the question again. And again. And again. Until all the 5 minutes add up to project complete.
Crappy Question Example #4
Why did I wait so long to get started?
You’re narrative on this one is you’re already behind schedule.
Get to work, Brain, find all the ways this would have been better if you’d just started a week ago, a day ago, an hour ago. The ship has sailed and you missed it.
But remember that old saying: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
Let’s try that question again.
Replace the crappy question with:
What new learnings do I have that will make the outcome of this task even better?
With this question, you will start to look for your wisdom instead of your failings.
You are a wiser person than you were a week ago (or whatever magical timeframe in which you wish you would have started.) So approach the task with this new wisdom.
Remember that article you read yesterday that will be relevant to this client you’re pitching to? Add a talking point to the presentation. Or that webinar you attended on the latest ChatGPT hacks? How can you use that to automate and crank through the task faster than you could have a week ago?
You started exactly when you were supposed to because that’s your reality. No use arguing with it. Be grateful for the wise woman you are today that’s accomplishing the task now.
Crappy Question Example #5
Why does it take me so long to do “X”?
This is another question that’s perfect in uncovering all the ways you might think you aren’t good enough.
It takes you so long because you aren’t smart enough.
You’ll never get better.
Someone else could definitely do it faster.
Replace the crappy question with:
If I only had one hour <or insert preferred timeframe>, how would I get this project done?
Now we can start having some fun with math. Find the magic equation to make the impossible, possible.
Get your brain to work on removing the non-essential activities or delegating pieces that don’t need to be done by you. Find the distractions that slow you down and make you less efficient.
This question gives your brain the opportunity to improve your process instead of wasting space finding all the evidence of why you think you’re inadequate. Nobody’s got time for that nonsense!
Asking yourself better questions forces you to become more aware of your current mindset and habits surrounding time management.
It gives your brain the opportunity to guide you and lead you to better actions and improvements and to a more satisfying life.
So, what are you going to ask yourself today?
Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed? Do you feel like there are always important tasks left undone, hanging over your head? It's time to take control of your productivity and prove to yourself you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.
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